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The Simpsons I'm presently incarcerated, convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! Attempted murder! Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry, do they? - Sideshow Bob Terwilliger Sideshow Bob is probably my favourite character on the Simpsons. The X-Files You lied. You have seen this before, I can tell. You lied to them. I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation. - Special Agent Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) to Special Agent Fox Mulder (David Duchovny), "Shadows" Futurama Look, another cyclops! This one has five eyes! - Fry to Bender That quote's paraphrased, because I didn't write it down at the time and don't have it on tape to check the exact wording. Malcolm in the Middle - The Awful Truth "Our job is to enforce crime." [In tones of shock] "Enforce crime? Did he just say enforce crime?" - Police officer to Jay Martel,in New London, CT SBS World News - I suppose that the news may be a strange thing to include in my list of favourite television shows. But, I do watch the news every night, so it's actually the show that I watch most. Here in Australia, we have five najor free-to-air channels (there are also local stations, but those are rare and they have limited broadcast. I live only half an hour from Brisbane and still can't pick up the local station, Briz31). Seven, Nine and Ten are commercial stations. ABC is the government run station. SBS is the multicultural broadcaster. Their news program is generally the least biased, and the least likely to exaggerate. Also, it is good because it doesn't include anything on sport. I hate watching the sport news and every other news program includes at least five minutes of sports reporting. the Labyrinth Give me the child. Through dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City, to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great... you have no power over me. - Sarah (Jennifer Connelly), speaking to Jareth the Goblin King (David Bowie) I could recite every word of this movie when I was little (I still can recite a fair bit of it). It's about a girl called Sarah (Jennifer Connelly), who wishes for the goblin king, Jareth (David Bowie), to take away her baby brother. The goblin king does, and when Sarah realises what she has done, she appeals to the goblin king to give him back. Because Jareth is in love with her, he gives her thirteen hours to find her way through the labyrinth to his castle where he has hidden the baby. Sarah meets up with many characters - a dwarf called Hoggle (voiced by Brian Henson), a furry monster named Ludo (voiced by Ron Mueck), a brave knight called Sir Didymus (voiced by Dave Goelz) and his steed, the dog Ambrosius - who help her to overcome the goblin king and get her baby brother back. The goblin king is played by David Bowie. It's almost worth seeing the movie just for his hair. All of the puppets are made by Jim Henson's company, and George Lucas also works on it. By the way, it's honestly just a coincidence, all of these George Lucas movies I like (see Star Wars and Indy Jones below). But they lead me to believe that the man's a genius. Star Wars - I even liked the Phantom Menace (except Jar Jar). My grade nine history teacher described it as "George Lucas playing cowboys and indians in space". He's probably right, but you've still got to love it. May the Force be with you... Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Everybody's lost but me! - Indy the boy scout (River Phoenix), when he's lost The archaeologist Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) goes off on a quest for the Holy Grail, gets mixed up with a bunch of Nazis, finds his father Henry Jones (Sean Connery), and finally wraps up his adventuring. It's the only one of the Indy movies I really liked. The others were okay, I guess, but this one was really good. It's just a really good action movie. It's got the worst blue-screening since I don't know when. It's also made by Lucasfilm, George Lucas' company, which is good. Trainspotting We called him Mother Superior on account of the length of his habit. - Mark Renton (Ewan McGregor) I like this mostly because I admire Ewan McGregor. It's a good black humour movie, and it makes a lot of really good points about society in general. Sneakers I would have joined the NSA, but my parents were married. - Marty Bishop (Robert Redford) to the NSA guys It took me ages to understand that line. It made absolutely no sense to me until my sister explained it to me. Anyway, Sneakers is a funny movie. Okay, so it has a silly plot, and lots of stereotypes, and a fairly obvious ending. On the plus side, it has good actors and a lot of funny lines that make up for the idiotic plot. Robert Redford plays Marty Bishop, who leads a team of people (including River Phoenix as the boy genius and Dan Ackroyd as the conspiracy theorist) who are hired to break into buildings to test their security. It's all going swimmingly until Marty's past catched up with him, and a friend he betrayed when he was in college ensnares the team in the middle of his plan to steal a black box that can decode all encrypted documents. It's up to Marty and his team to stop him, and of course, they do. There were a lot of very clever lines in there. High Fidelity I've been thinking with my guts since I was fourteen years old, and frankly speaking, between you and me, I have come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains. - Rob Fleming (John Cusack) I didn't get that quote word for word from the movie, I copied it from the original book by Nick Hornby. This movie was brilliant. A thirty-something record store owner gets dumped by his girlfriend, then goes on a crusade to find the top five women responsible for the most painful breakups of his life. John Cusack is really good. The breaking the third wall thing where he talks to the camera is a pretty difficult thing to make work in a movie, but he pulls it off so well. To go slightly off topic, I would like to state that I think John Cusack would make a pretty good Arthur Dent if they ever make the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy into a movie. He'd also be an ideal Wedge Antilles, if there was ever going to be a Rogue Squadron movie (well, I can dream, can't I?). Almost Famous The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool. - Lester Bangs (Philip Seymour Hoffman) The story of young journalist William Miller (Patrick Fugit) who takes off on a tour with a band called Stillwater. He meets a Band-Aid (kind of like a groupie) who calls herself Penny Lane (Kate Hudson), falls in love with her, and grows up. The Dish He knows a lot about Apollo 11. Does he know where it is? - paraphrased someone and Mitch (Kevin Harrington) after the signal of Apollo 11 is lost The true-ish story of the Australian dish that transmitted the images of man first walking on the moon. Full of good Australian humour, as opposed to the dumb kind. A Hard Day's Night Man on train: Don't take that tone with me young man. I fought the war for your sort. Ringo: I bet you're sorry you won. Man On Train: I shall call the guard. Paul: Ah, but what? They don't take kindly to insults you know. - Man on train (Richard Vernon), Ringo Starr (technically Richard Starkey) and Paul McCartney (Paul McCartney) The story tells a fictional day in the life of the Beatles - John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr (Richard Starkey, "if you're gonna get technical about it.") They start out on a train, travelling to a hotel, where they get loads of fan mail and skive off to a gambling club and a dance. There's a press conference arranged, which is really amusing. The members of the press ask a bunch of questions, and all four give brilliant answers. Lennon's deadpan response to the reporter asking him how he found America - "Turned left at Greenland" - had me in fits of giggles. So did Paul's repetition of "No, we're just good friends", and George and Ringo's comments on their haircuts were priceless. From there, they go to film a television appearance. They fool around a whole lot, causing troubles for their managers Norm (Norman Rossington) and Shake (John Junkin). There are some good bits between the rehearsals. They run off and fall around in a field to the tune Can't Buy Me Love. George wanders off and gets mistaken for a "typical teenager", and gives his opinions to ?????????????????????????????? Before the final run through, Paul's grandfather (Wilfrid Brambell) persuades Ringo to leave off working and go parading around the streets. The hapless Ringo ends up getting himself arrested for acting in a suspicious manner and numerous other crimes, and ends up in the police station with McCartney Senior (arrested for attempting to sell signed photos of the band). The other Beatles have to rescue Ringo in time for the TV appearance. They run off to the police station, and get chased around by the policemen, eventually making it back to the television studio. They're just in time for the show, and all ends well. This movie is just the funniest film I've ever seen. The Beatles are one of my favourite bands, and this film just captures so much of what I love about them. There's lots of brilliant music, but this movie becomes truly terrific in the dialogue. It's incredibly witty, especially during the press conference scene. This really is a film that everyone should see, even if you don't think much of the Beatles. There's nothing like it. It's just so cheerful and innocent and happy. Crystal Lee Cooper - http://zap.to/strawberryfields/